


Dreadful Sorry, Clementine

by havisham



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bar Room Brawl, Bars and Pubs, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Western
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-10 20:30:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: Miss Nadine Short runs the best (and only) saloon in the tiny Western town of Sparksburg. She runs a tight ship, all things considered, but when a certain stranger rolls into town, she's willing to make an exception.





	Dreadful Sorry, Clementine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saiditallbefore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiditallbefore/gifts).



Nadine had been running the only saloon in Sparksburg for about fifteen years now, ever since she came out West to live with her ne’er-do-well father. He had promptly skipped town after she’d arrived and left her with a pile of debts and an empty, half-burnt storefront. 

Bit by bit, she’d rebuilt the place and bit by bit, she’d paid off the debts. Sparksburg wasn’t the most thriving of places -- it was too far from the new railroad for that -- but the saloon did get a steady stream of customers and kept her busy. 

Usually, that is. Right now, the place was deserted, but that was to be expected. After all, it was mid-January and bitter cold, even with the coal-fired heater burning in the back of the room. Nadine could see her breath misting the glass bottles of liquor and she wrapped her shawl tighter around herself. 

“Miss Nadine, how about we close up for the night?” said Charlie, the young man who helped around the saloon in the evenings. He tried not to look too hopeful, but he really couldn’t help it. Nadine smiled, knowing that Charlie was hoping to get away and spend some time with his sweetheart. 

“You go along, Charlie,” she said, “I can take care of things from here.”

He looked a little doubtful, but that didn’t stop him from walking out the door, a spring in his step. Nadine shook her head. She was sure she had never been so feckless when she was Charlie’s age, but maybe it was her creeping old age talking. 

“Them kids sure are carefree nowadays,” said a voice at her elbow and Nadine almost jumped a mile in her boots. When she came down again, she saw it was Clem Barker, having her usual glass of whiskey, unpaid for and unmarked on her tab. 

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Nadine said sharply. Clem flashed her a brief, sardonic smile and finished up her drink. For the longest time, Nadine, along with the rest of the world, had assumed Clem Barker, the drifter, the sometimes miner and sometimes hired gun, was exactly what they appeared to be -- a haggard but somewhat good-looking man, slim and dark, who could be any age between thirty-five and fifty-five. There were lots of rumors about who he was and the many strange and wild things he'd supposedly done in the past.

And Clem was that -- just not the man part. Nadine had discovered this by accident a few years ago and she’d figured it was none of her business how Clem had decided to move through the world. Hell, if Nadine could've gotten away with it, she thought that she'd try it too. Life would've been a whole lot easier as a man. 

“You gonna pay for that drink, _Mr. Barker_ , or am I gonna have to take measures?” Nadine said as she took out a clean rag to polish the bar with. 

“I'd do anything for you, Miss Nadine, just say the word,” Clem said with a bat of her eyelashes and flash of that horrible smile of hers -- it was a matter of uncertainty if her upper teeth were really that yellow or were covered with gold, as she claimed. But it certainly gave her smile a certain _je ne sais quoi_ , like papa always said when he couldn’t think of anything else. 

Nadine found herself grinning back. She always did like those handsome rogues, despite herself, and despite knowing all the trouble they could bring. Clem Barker was really no different after all. 

“I could have the sheriff come by and take care of things -- we don't like unpaid tabs here in Sparksburg, you know.”

“I'm a bit embarrassed financially at the moment, but I'm sure we can come to an arrangement without getting Old Joe involved. Isn't there anything I can do for you, Nadine?” 

Nadine sighed and looked at her. “You know, I really hate all this jumping around through hoops you make me do, Clem. Why aren’t you more straightforward about these things? It's been six months since I last saw you and the rumor was that one of the Bottoms boys had gunned you down at Snakebite Creek.” 

“It'd be a cold day in hell before one of those inbred chucklefucks -- pardon my language -- got the jump on me. Besides, I sent you a telegram.” 

“It was one line -- “I lived, wrench” and that was before everything went down!” 

“You were that worried about me? Why, Nadine, I'm touched.” 

“You shouldn't be,” Nadine said with a huff. “It’s just that your tab’s gotten so big, I’d be sorry to lose all opportunity to close it, that’s all.” 

“If that’s what you want to keep tellin’ yourself, I’ve got no objections,” Clem said smugly. “Now, don’t take offense, but you’re looking mighty pretty today, Miss Nadine. Of course, you’re usually the flower of Sparksburg womanhood, but today -- well, it’s special, ain’t it?” 

“How so, Barker?” 

“Because I’m here to see it, of course.” 

“You think a lot of yourself, it seems,” Nadine said, ignoring the heat that rose to her cheeks. She knew exactly what Clem was trying to do, and it wouldn’t work on her, nosiree. “If you’ve got that seventeen dollars and fifteen cents with you, we can settle things right now, no trouble.” 

“Is that what my tab is? Seems a little high,” Clem said, raising her brows. 

“It’s almost fifteen years of unpaid drinks.” 

“Has it been fifteen years? My, time flies. I remember when you first came out West, Miss Nadine Short of Boston, who’d never thrown out a drunk miner on to the street before with her own lily-white hands. Things sure do change, don’t they?” 

“I’ve had plenty of experience of that by now,” Nadine said meaningfully. 

“Nadine, you’re beautiful and wonderful,” Clem said, “let me work off some of that debt. I swear you won’t regret it.” 

“I already do,” Nadine said with a sigh. “Honestly, I’d prefer gold currency to this. Silver’ll do too.” 

“Silver wouldn’t lick your cunt like I can,” Clem said, which made Nadine blush and squeeze all the life out of the rag she was holding. Clem rose from her seat and gave her a quizzical look. 

“Can I get behind the bar there?” 

“Lock the door first,” Nadine said. Clem did that quickly and gave her a quizzical look. 

“Come on then,” Nadine muttered, looking everywhere but at Clem. “But don't you dare get your boots on my bar. Come around like a normal person.” 

Clem didn’t need to be told twice. Almost skipping, she came around the bar and sank to the ground, flipping up Nadine’s dress as she did so. Nadine pulled down her dress over Clem’s head. She was very glad that it had been such a slow day at the saloon, otherwise all this wouldn’t have been possible. 

And the moment Clem’s tongue touched her slit, she was very, very glad it was. And from then on, things, as they were, were shaping up to be most improper. 

The first time they’d done this -- the first time Clem had offered to work off her debt, such as as it was, Nadine had assumed that she was exactly as she’d appeared to be -- a man, rough around the edges, used to living by the quicksilver speed of his wits and a fast trigger. There’d been a moment of breathless terror when, upon closer inspection, Clem didn’t turn out to be that kind of man at all -- or any kind of man. 

But Nadine, in her heart of hearts, had been glad for it. She’d never admit it, but she liked Clem Barker exactly how she was and wouldn’t change her for the world. 

Well, except for the tab thing. That was really annoying. 

Still, she was dreadful curious and decided to ask something she’d been wondering about for many years now. “Are you really named after the song?” 

Clem looked up and wiped away her mouth with the back of her hand. “What song was that?” 

Nadine took off her hat and set it on the bar. Clem’s hair was long and the color of dirt and greasy to the touch. She liked it, though, it had nice feel to it. “ _Oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine --_ ” 

Clem snickered into Nadine’s thighs. “Keep singin’, my dear. But really, I'm not -- got many years and not a few arrest warrants out for my old name, you know?” 

Nadine, who had never been anything but Miss Nadine Short, of Boston and then Sparksburg, thought she understood it well enough. If you couldn't escape the past, coming out here, than what was the point of it all? 

Clem’s tongue worked rapidly against her slit and Nadine sighed and shifted. She wanted to be kissed and held and hell, if she was going to be demanding about it, she wanted to touch Clem too. She sank down to the ground and pushed Clem away for a moment. 

She needed some time to think -- if she _could_ think, being so close to another person after so long was pretty damn distracting. 

“What you thinkin’ about, Nadine?” Clem inched closer to her and slid her hand up Nadine’s dress. Her face drew close to Nadine’s and -- 

“Been chewing some mint leaves, Clem?” 

“Well, you know, a gentleman’s got to make an effort for the ladies.” 

“Ladies, huh? Anyone I know?” 

“Nadine,” Clem said, looking at her, and it was funny. She’d never noticed how bright blue Clem’s eyes were until right this very moment. “... Your breasts are really marvelous things. You don’t mind if I feel you up, do you?” 

“You don’t have to ask, we’re hiding behind my bar for that reason, ain’t we?” Nadine said, trying for exasperation and failing somehow. She quickly unbuttoned her dress, figuring Clem would just get dirt on her chemise. Privately, she thought her breasts were marvelous, thank you, when she bothered to think of them at all. 

Just now, with Clem’s mouth pressed against her nipple, kissing and then -- “Hey, watch those teeth! Are you a brute or something?” 

“Nadine, I want to --” Clem’s face was very red and it’d be funny, except… 

“Didn’t you say something about licking my pussy,” Nadine said, feeling her own cheeks heat up in embarrassment. But she didn’t look away, anyway. There was no point in playing the shy maiden. She hadn’t been one in years, after all. 

Clem settled in between her legs and flipped up the skirt of Nadine’s dress. She began to lick into Nadine’s cleft, making soft panting noises as she did so. Nadine grabbed her head and pushed her closer, encouraged her to go faster, lick deeper. 

“Yes, yes, there,” she moaned as Clem continued her ministrations. She was afraid she would stop, that she would finish before Nadine was ready. Her mind was quite fuzzy -- all she could feel was pleasure, shot through with some vague irritation that Clem was simply not doing enough. 

In between that desperate haze, however, she thought she heard -- something. Somewhat shakily, Nadine buttoned up her dress. The door of the saloon slammed open and someone walked in. 

“Oh shit,” Nadine muttered. Clem looked up, puzzled. 

“Well, well,” said Romulus Bottoms loudly. “Looks like you were right, Charlie ole boy. Can't believe you work here! Ain’t you bored to death?” 

“Don't be so loud,” said a familiar voice behind him. “Miss Nadine lives upstairs, you know.” 

“If that old biddy comes in, I'll shoot her. Now, you say Barker’s around here?”

“I saw him lurking around here when I left. He couldn't have got far.” 

Nadine looked over at Clem. She gave a slight nod and reached for her pistol. Nadine took a deep breath and began to rise. Clem caught her hand and mouthed, “What are you doing?” 

“It's fine,” she mouthed back. 

Romulus and Charlie were arguing about what to do now. They hardly noticed Nadine getting up and leaning against the bar, watching them. She grabbed the glass Clem had been drinking from and began to polish it. They finally took notice, however, when she cleared her throat. 

“This your sweetheart, Charlie?” she said. “I think your momma will be disappointed to hear that.” 

Romulus frowned at her. He was flashy looking young man with long brassy blond hair falling under his hat and a permanent sneer on his face. The Bottoms had been a rich family -- there was no real reason for Romulus or his brothers to turn to violent crime -- from lawless conduct to cattle rustling to murder -- but they’d done it anyway. They had been bored, they later said. 

Rich people really were incomprehensible, Nadine thought. 

“Mr. Bottoms,” Nadine said with a nod. “You planning to open a tab? Can't do it after hours, I'm afraid.” 

“I'm not here to drink the horse piss you call whiskey,” Romulus said. “I'm looking for that no-good thief, Barker. He's around here and it'd be best if you gave him up, ya hear?” 

“He ain't here,” Nadine said, very determined not to glance to where Clem had been hiding, a few moments before. 

“Miss Nadine, I'm sorry about this,” Charlie said, biting his lips. “I figured you'd be sleeping already. By the time you woke up, we'd be miles away.” 

“You really think running away with him would work?” Nadine said skeptically. 

“Hey, you ain't got no right to make comments like that,” Romulus said, frowning. “What does a dried up old spinster like you know about love?” 

“What's a virgin like you know about it?” 

“What --” Romulus raised his gun. “You're gonna regret that.” 

“Not as much as you are,” Nadine said. She whipped the glass at him and it hit him square between the eyes. Her aim at always been pretty good, all those archery lessons when she was girl hadn’t been wasted. Clem popped up on the end of the bar and quicker than anything, shot Romulus in the leg. 

Romulus went down with a shout of rage, his gun slipping away from his reach. 

Charlie's hands flew up before Clem could shoot him too. “Don't shoot! Please don't shoot!” 

“Nadine, can you call Old Joe?” Clem asked her. 

“Yeah,” Nadine said, a little shakily. “It'll be a trunk call, just --” 

“What's wrong?” Clem said, puzzled. 

“I don't like blood!” Nadine said, pointing over to where Romulus was crouched down, bleeding over her good carpet. Really, Old Joe couldn't come fast enough. 

*

After all the dust had settled from Romulus Bottoms and Charlie Parker’s arrest, Nadine was back at the saloon, trying to get the blood off the carpet. She heard the ringing of the bell behind her and sighed. 

“Sorry, the saloon’s closed until I can set it right again --” she turned to see Clem leaning against the bar like she belonged there. 

“Hey,” Clem said. 

“Hey yourself,” Nadine said. “Got anymore outlaws to come and disturb my establishment?”

“Nah, I wanted to apologize,” Clem said. “That's what life is like with me. I'm a real pain in the ass.” 

“I know that about you,” Nadine said, getting up. She dusted off her hands, concentrating on that to avoid looking at Clem. 

“Before we were so rudely interrupted,” Clem said, “I was just getting started with you. Should we continue?” 

“... Well, yes,” Nadine said. “Wait while I lock up and come upstairs.” 

When she was done with that, she pulled Clem upstairs. This wasn't the kind of life she’d imagined for herself, all those years ago as she headed West. It was strange, and complicated and much more exciting. 

She wouldn't change a single thing about it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta!


End file.
